I can’t count the number of times I’ve been getting along with someone really well, just to   find out that they’re a Trump supporter. Or a pro-lifer. Or a homophobe. Or a racist. In every other way, we get along just fine, but once I discover these beliefs that are so against my own I seem to be unable to look at them the same way. Political beliefs are by no means the most important aspect of a friendship, but can you truly have a good relationship with someone who you disagree with on such important matters?

A good majority of my extended family is conservative, and I have no problem getting along with them. We never talk about politics; however, I know there’s a lot we disagree on. I’ve gotten good at pretending that side of them doesn’t exist because they’re family and there’s no point in making it a big deal. While I can look past my conservative family’s beliefs, getting past it with conservative friends is a hurdle I just can’t seem to jump over. 

There seems to be this idea that unfriending someone because of their political beliefs is immature, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true. In fact, I think it’s somewhat hypocritical to hang out with people that hold beliefs strongly contrary to your own. If I see someone on social media preaching trans rights, and then see them hanging out with a known transphobe the next day, does that not make them a hypocrite? From my perspective, you can’t truly believe strongly in something if it doesn’t bother you to have close relationships with people who believe the opposite. 

It seems that this issue matters more to me now that human rights have become one of the most important topics in political conversations. It’s fine if we have different beliefs about something like taxes, but as soon as your beliefs become harmful to real people, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to not want to be friends with you. What it really comes down to is how severe our ideations differ. 

Now, it’s important to acknowledge that now more than ever, we need to be more open to ideas that oppose our own. America is getting increasingly more divided, and we could all use some more empathy and understanding in our society. With that being said, I think we can try to understand others without having to be friends with them.

Everyone should be able to get along with, or at least understand, people with differing beliefs. Everyone should also be able to set boundaries and decide who to be friends with. Friends are people to confide in, to trust and to be completely yourself around, which I don’t see existing in a friendship where you disagree on such important topics.