Why does getting rejected hurt so much more than any other form of failure? Not to mention the hardest form of failure to rebound from? Rejection is its own beast, and when a person encounters this beast it can make or break a person.
In this life, the “not making the team” plotline is a popular one, especially among teens. The “making the team” story consists of someone trying out for a team, job, performance, college, even scholarships or awards. Being cut from such an opportunity does not feel good. It’s also a storyline that I have first-hand experience with.
When I tried out for Laker Dance before my freshman year I did not make the team. I was so distraught. Plus, most of my close friends had made the team. I was crushed knowing that they would get to grow closer. But I on the other hand would grow farther from them. Not to mention I was so sad I didn’t get the chance to be a part of such a special and talented team. All these thoughts turned into a lot of tears, and so I cried a lot. I felt unwanted.
All those feelings I just mentioned stem from rejection. People often say rejection is just redirection. But, to be perfectly honest, that is freaking hard to put into action . When a person gets rejected it takes away pride and confidence. Then if you try again it is 10 times more scary than the first time. It’s so scary being judged. Then when you get judged and don’t make the cut it carves a dent in you.
To add on to why getting rejected hurts more than other failures is because it’s so personal. Someone examined you and decided that either you weren’t ready or worthy. That hurts. I mean, getting judged in general hurts. It’s very very hard to not take corrections personally. On top of that, it’s hard to not degrade yourself based on someone else’s opinion. Rejection opens up a void of insecurity that anyone can easily fall into. In this void it’s easy to beat yourself up since you didn’t make the cut.
Another difficult aspect of rejection is the fact that the best person to ask how to improve yourself is the person who denied you. Facing a figure who thinks you’re not the person for whatever opportunity is scary and takes bravery.
That said, while rejection may not seem to come with a lot of positives at first, it can often turn into something greater. For instance, not making Laker Dance mentally affected me for some time. On top of that, going back to tryouts and trying again was even more terrifying. The thought that I could get denied once more had me petrified. I did not want to walk away yet again feeling even more embarrassed and defeated. But after getting rejected I knew that all I wanted to do was make the team for my sophomore year. So first, I emailed the coaches asking for what I could’ve done better. The list was not pretty and quite humbling. But still it helped me. My family and I sat down and decided that was the top priority for the year. It was a family agreement to do whatever it took to make the team. From a couple weeks after tryouts until the next tryout week I worked my butt off. I would dance nine hours a week, or oftentimes more. I was so ready. My mindset was that I was behind the dancers who made the team. So to equal them I had to work two times harder.
Tryouts came and went, and this time I ended up with a smile on my face. Finally, after trial and tribulation, I had made the team. I was unbelievably proud of myself. So was my family and other random people that I didn’t even know cared. Not to sound full of myself but what is so admirable about this story is that I got back up.
Something else to note is that rejection doesn’t make someone any less of an amazing human being, nor does deciding to not try again. Getting up and trying in the first place deserves points. So even if you don’t want to try again, it doesn’t define you. Get back up, dust yourself off and focus on something else to excel on.
