Anyone familiar with Wes Anderson’s widely acclaimed film Fantastic Mr. Fox is aware of the iconic line “I don’t want to live in a hole anymore.” The stop-motion adaptation, based on a novel by Roald Dahl, explores themes of responsibility and self-agency. Mr. Fox, a previous chicken thief, is bored with domestic life. He decides to steal food from three corrupt, rude farmers in order to feed his family. The trio discovers the theft and corners all the local animals underground, forcing them to live a limited existence. Mr. Fox recognizes that he is unsatisfied with his restricted identity, expressing a desire for a better life that stretches far beyond simply going above the surface.
As someone who is familiar with depressive episodes, this feature in particular has always resonated with me. Mr. Fox’s inclination for change reflects my own, and his restlessness and unease at his current situation are a mirror of how I feel at times. There have been moments when I have found myself trapped in a negative thinking pattern or belief about myself, often desperately wishing to perceive otherwise.
This notion has been recurring throughout my high school years, but only surfaced recently in the most unexpected locale: English class. An hour-long discussion about Plato’s Allegory of the Cave produced important realizations about personal enlightenment. The concept depicts prisoners chained in the dark, their only source of stimulation being shadows projected on a wall. Since this is all they can see, they believe that the dim objects in front of them are the whole of reality. Unaware of the bright world outside, they find comfort in their limited understanding, going so far as to deny the actuality even once it is revealed.
Focusing on the symbolism of this allegory made me acknowledge an uncomfortable truth: I was a prisoner myself. When in the midst of these episodes, what I believed about who I was as a person became the truth, as that was all I thought. It was only later that I would find out that these notions were completely inaccurate. Like Mr. Fox, I recognized that I was aware that I wanted change — however, I was unwilling to take the steps to do so.
Only recently did I realize that I needed to overcome this pessimistic mindset. At first, it seemed nearly impossible. Confronting this in itself proved to be the most challenging — I had to admit that I was preventing my own progress. After accepting this fact, I began taking small steps to improve myself. Even seemingly minuscule actions, such as reconnecting with an old friend, provided happiness that would have felt unfamiliar before. Making plans to go on a hike, explore downtown Portland or even get lunch gave me something to look forward to each day. Consistent habits such as cleaning my room regularly, finding new hobbies I enjoyed, getting enough sleep and volunteering all contributed to my personal growth. I realized that I was less alone than I thought — all I had to do was simply reach out.
