With last year’s seniors long gone, no one has re-filled the feminine hygiene products in the girl’s restrooms and I predict we’re going to have a full-blown “The Shining” moment. Point blank period.

After being on the docket for over six months, Senate heads still need “more time to review the amendment process” and triple-check if it’s actually okay to abide by Title IX by ungendering the court.

Mr. Duden is officially cooler than all of us since he went to the Tyler, the Creator concert.

There is only rotting vegetables, mud and sadness when you go to a pumpkin patch in late October.

We should all embrace ourselves like Miley Cyrus accepts her male-induced homosexuality.

We’re about to “fall back” for Daylight Savings this weekend, but I’m already behind in all my classes.

Kanye finally dropped his newest album, only to rap about Chick Fil A; meanwhile Popeye’s just re-released their best mixtape: Spicy Fried Chicken Sandwich.

We’re in a weird transitional period between Hot Girl Summer and Sad Boi Winter where we’re surrounded by Brittaneahs and Maekahlaghs wearing Uggs and sipping pumpkin spice lattes #staywoke.