Dear Sophmores

Dear sophomores,

Considering that you are essentially the second class of freshmen, welcome to high school! The Laker family welcomes you despite how annoying you are. So, for your own sake, we’ve decided to share with you ways you can self-improve. Let us begin.

Let’s start with a simple request: stand in the back at football games. Because you can’t seem to wrap your head around the organization of the student section, let’s just explain it once and for all so you don’t embarrass yourself even more. The first four rows are for seniors, and then the juniors are located above them, AND THEN IT’S YOU, and finally, the freshmen are shoved into the nosebleeds. You are meant to be the forgotten year. It’s not your first year, it’s not your last and it’s not your AP hell. Unfortunately, you are not special. It’s just the way the hierarchical cookie crumbles. 

It’s frustrating how put-together you always look and how it came at such a little price. Unlike those who came before you, you never really went through an awkward phase. And if you did, it was behind the closed doors of quarantine. This allowed you to clear up your acne, get your braces taken off, and style your hair into that terrible fluff or middle part that haunts everyone else’s nightmares. It’s unhealthy to skip those formative late middle school/early high school years, and I do mean to be that person to tell you that. They serve as every class’ slice of humble pie, and it’s clear who skipped dessert.

On a more constructive note, we’ve observed some toxicity in your social circles. Trust us, you’ll be better off breaking out of those confining cliques in the long run. Everyone else has learned to appreciate one another for the individuals that they are, and we hope that you’ll follow suit soon enough. Try whatever interests you, talk to new people. The bottom line is that your made up social hierarchy is woefully irrelevant to the rest of us, and soon it will be for you as well. Branch out.  

And FYI, move out of the way. You’re blocking the halls.

Maybe take this time to reflect on your life. Figure out who your friends are, what you want to do in life, and ultimately what you want to make of your high school experience. Don’t have a mental breakdown over your essay about “The Odyssey,” save that for junior English; and trust me, that B you got on the geometry test will not break your academic record.

Enjoy this next year, my “fresh-mores.” You luckily missed out on the scary year of finding your footing. Now, go have fun, eat your veggies and figure out how to treat each other nicely while your friendships last.

Sincerely,

A junior