The Editorial Board

After spending seven months debating a gender-neutral Mayfete court, we may not even have a real Mayfete anymore. And does anyone but the Senior Class care? Probably not.

February is Black History Month, but February’s biggest holiday celebrates two dead whitey presidents who only cared about freeing slaves because it was #trending. America do be vibing.

Donald Trump only hated on “Parasite” at his most recent rally because he can’t manage to read the English subtitles.

Not that anyone watches them, but the Republican presidential candidate debates have gotten really interesting lately. I’m still surprised Tulsi and Bloomberg haven’t been invited, but I think Donald J. Trump has been defending himself incredibly well.

If you’re sad, just replace all vowels in a word with “oob.” Here are some starter words that are pretty great: “Lake Views” = “Loobkoob Vooboobws,” “Go Lakers” = “Goob Loobkoobrs” and “Benedict Cumberbatch” = “Boobnoobdoobct Coobmboobrboobtch.”